these days...

these days my mind has been wondering.................
these days I don't know if my head is on so tight...
then I peak out the window , and it goes back to right.......
having your eyes open,  isn't always fun, oh to be young again, only to see what you want to.
I realize as the tides have turned...
not everyone will have your back, not everyone is REAL. amazing how some are so good at faking like they give a shit. only to find out through games that they never have, and probably never will....
these days I wont try hard to impress you, for you are not my family
these days I wont even flinch if you don't like me..
today I know, It's ok.
I know too many people caught up in the game, the game is stupid... no one ever really wins.. but there is a bounty full of losers.
I get tired of feeling broken.
I get tired of felling sick.
I never get tired of hearing the laughter that motherhood brings...
to be real... sobriety is an amazing thing..
without sounding like someone speaking at a NA meeting.. sometimes being spun, knocked down.. and kicked in the teeth.. is the best feeling.. why?
FEELINGs, that is why.
some of you will get this, others will just see it as another ramble.. I do that alot.. but this august makes 11 years.. I never thought I would make it this far...
and guess what? I did.
so these days, I don't take shit from people.
I don't let my past be my future... I don't forget it, I embrace it, I don't feel pity, I feel proud..
these days are not worth wasting.. and neither is my time...
and I wont waste any more of yours...

these days.. my life is great, with you, or with out.

no title.. just words.

the kiddos laughing, fighting, crying, making up languages, explaining their eyes of the world,...all the would have, could have,  talk with other moms when your out and about... wondering why being a parent to twins is any different than being a mother to singletons... but, I think twin moms are a unique blend...
I have read some common pet peeves, and hear them as well... these are just some of my personal discoveries..
Whenever someone says, I raised 2 boys and they were 18 mnts. apart, so I Feel your pain.
my thought is.... no it's not the same at all, the same age at the same time, means you get to deal with the good times, bad times, all times, times two... and just because they are twins doesn't mean they have the same style of losing it.. that would be too easy!  And when they lose it at the same time.. put it this way, if your guns are  not developed by now... you can't carry both of them out of a public place like two sacks of potatoes, and be on your way.. No not in this world..
What you can do, is buy stupid stuff, Angry Bird erasers... built like Lego's, and make a interesting game that requires you to say out loud, in public.... " If you don't behave, I am taking your piggies away"... oh the looks..
sometimes I find things that work, sometimes they are the most ridiculous bits of nonsense I have ever cooked up, sometimes it's just a disaster, sometimes it works out and I had nothing to do with it at all...
parenting..
it's one of those things that make your adult ADD mind stimulated., and the child in you can be reborn, to be just as crazy as ever...
you get to be kicked out of 'their room", hear," No girls allowed".... and I laugh, because giving me time to myself, is the nicest gift of all..
and they are almost five..
the best of friends, and the worst of enemies... all in one day at times...
today however, was a best friend day... and as they throw angry birds at structures they spent all afternoon building.. I think to myself, Liz..
You got this!

pic's...

Patch of Clovers

A super cute boy.

Ropes are amazing...

I pout, Because I caN.

I love Rhinos

it's kinda me, right?

I have been keeping this tight feeling inside me for a minute...
not sure what it means, not sure where it came from.. and not sure I care...
I have been struggling lately with the bite of words.. that i wont let come out of my mouth.. dare I hurt your feelings...
Maybe that is the tightness, I am holding me back... keeping me from just being me.
I don't know what defines me lately.. aside from Mother, and awesome chick.. there just has to be more...
from now on.. I will use self discovery as a method to my madness... I don't like flowers.. so I will pick them.
I don't like tears.. So we will laugh...I don't like to stare, so I will avoid you... I don't want to sound pretentious.. so I will remain naive...

right now I hate Barking... so here is your muther fuckin treat.