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Thursday, March 31, 2011

untitled

Crossed insanity, the blvd. is hazy, the intersection was crazed, mad lunatics watched from afar.
The sirens chased the shadows into the dark colored bushes and we reminisce about the old days and how we use to play with broken glass and rubber bands to help heal the tight wounds we kept in the palms of our hands... The mad display of insanity marches through all the peaceful creatures heads, Why is this going on? Why should anyone even care?
Why is the insanity so profound?  Why is the world crashing down?  When will the sleepy, creepiness die down? When will the loneliness conquer the dreams of lost devotion?
When I cry the music seeps into my tear drops.  The loneliness will eventually eat me alive.
Sad thing is all I really want to do is drive, fast or slow, or somewhere in between the monsters so they don't find me. 
Grabbed a hold of me, Held me softly, tore my racy clothes, some which were made with gold... Oh how the wind it blows.  Blowing thru what's left of my feathered hair, laughing at all the people who stare....
Freaks me out when the clouds hit my spot, emotionally torn from here back to there, wondering when I even began to care.. Lesser tomorrow's bring back the flashes of last year... and I am alone again, it's always near.  Love him that is for sure, but ,what about tonight?

Saturday, March 26, 2011

ureka

I have to write about this brilliant Idea, most of you know Graham and his fight with Retinoblastoma which has left him with one eye, and it's an amazing eye!
I think we are  going to start a foundation to not only raise awareness, but  also, start a fund to raise money for his future prothethics.. as I know one day that expense will fall in his lap.
He takes great pictures, he loves the camera.. it's like his loss eye...
So... all spring and summer he is gonna get to work, start getting shots of whatever his heart desires, and then when we get a good amount of shots, I will have him help me edit them, and put together a photo book, and start making him some awareness funds and a trust for that missing eye...
Now to find the perfect camera... that's the tough part.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Nice

Nice
I am the kind of nice that always gets taken advantaged of, for example, lets say were in a long line at the grocery store and I notice you have like two things, I usually say, "Go Ahead".
Nice
I am the kind of nice that if your waiting in line to use the bathroom, and I see you doing the Potty Dance, I say, "Go Ahead".
Nice
I am the kind of nice that tells you, " your hair looks amazing" when no one else has bothered to notice.
Nice
I am the kind of nice that even if I HATE what you want to do for fun, I am right there by your side, laughing at all the fun you are having.
Nice, Nice, toooooooooooooooooooooooooooo fuckin nice.
I wonder where this stems from, I hope it goes away, it's like that doormat, lets just wipe our feet on it over and over. Let's kick some dirt on it.
Nice
A old man at Marsh today, while I was paying our Electric bill, bought me a lotto ticket, he said, " sweety you have the nicest eyes I have ever seen!" .... nice
so I scratched and won... a free ticket.. and said, "This is for you, that was the nicest thing an adult has done for me today".. he scratches and wins $1000.00... smiles, and says " NICE"
I walked away... then stopped and said, "Donate some of that money to Childhood Cancer reasearch, Please!"

What the fuck? REally, like I said I am too fuckin Nice.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

sick

things that suck about being sick,
sneezing...
it's like the whole entire space of your brain comes out with that loud sound, and then everything settles back in place and just when you think your done.. bammmmmmmmmmmmmmmm 3 more sneezes.
the wet drip.. you know the one, where snot is slowing leaking out of your raw nose like a slow dripping faucet.. and your just so damn tired...
cold med's... or lack of...
good things about being sick, yes I did find a couple..
VICKS.. I LOVE YOU!
Graham and Dylan, "mommy r u sick?", take a tissue.. :)
and somehow getting sucked into the daily marathon of Jersey Shore..
I realized I was blessed, I am not a hoar! ;)
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh thanks god awful cold..
now good night.. the pm is kickin in
still waiting on this one... daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamit.

Friday, March 18, 2011

So Long Status Updates

 Why would I want to give up Spacebook you ask? Why? /Why? , Why ? Why the fuck not? I think time I waste on the computer, should be wasted doing what I love, getting back to my passion, writing! I want to reach out to the world a different way, no one really cares that I am a bit of a smart ass, no one really cares that I get angry easily and want to beat people up on a regular basis, do they???
 I am getting back to the basics of what matters, These two boys in this picuture, my heart and soul, my breath of fresh air, my laughter my dreams, my hopes ... my children!
I realize that I can't deactivate it because being that it's a prison with some inmates that I actually care about makes me trapped... but I can still eliminate the world that doesn't really give a shit.
Here's the harshes reality for me, for every one time I Have posted anything about childhood cancer awareness................ ONLY TWO people whom aren't members of my Cancer mom club ever repost.. What the fuck is that about?
Then I realized, those thought don't matter to anyone because it isn't affecting their lives..
It has affected many lives of the women I have come to know and love...
so blech....