The good with the bad

So lately I have been taking the good with the bad.
I find that I do often make myself available to please the world, and often keep myself short changed.  I had a good friend point out to me just the other day that, I complain about the same situations over and over, but somehow they involve different people, but the outcome is always quite the same.
I spend time thinking about what the "Future" should be like, remember thou, I don't plan anything... for every plan I make, there often is a counter plan or a wrench that sabotages the vision so I just roll with it.

We have been dealing with some pretty unreeling behavior lately with the the boys, one mostly.  It seems as if he has found his inner beast, since I don't believe in any form of violence, I am at my wits end... the only form of punishment that seems to work to combat his combativeness, is to just hold him tight, let him fight it out... once he has found his "lost mind" he always regroups and we all feel better, but the hard part is the fact that it is even happening.
I swear, I always thought these two boys would always be kind and loving, and they are for the most part, but, when they get angry... look out.
I totally see the inherited trait of rage... yes rage.  When I was little, I was the same way, big difference is how my parents dealt with me.. wrong or right it effected me, and still does till this day.
As a parent now, I have choices to end the cycle... so far so good.
I just have to say it's tough.. soooooooooo tough, especially when this little person you love so much is trying to punch you in your face..
totally heart breaking.

The trip...

I should start this by saying, being that I am a world traveler, and was blessed as a kid to see all of the U.S I never quite realized that traveling with your off spring would be soooooooooooo much work, I thought having parasites in Morocco was tough, but umm nope the twins topped that one!'

This trip was quite the adventure, the memories to last forever, the laughter, the lovin, the smiles, the meltdowns (yes meltdowns), the lessons, the animals, the wonder, the sights, the thoughts.. and lets not forget the amazing people...

We arrived and had a plan, always leave with a plan right? sure... but remember our lives never roll on a plan........... NOTHING is ever PLANNED~
I learned that the day I found out we were having twins...

So after day one of getting settled into the new environment , explored the village, ate some much needed ice cream, rode a train and then rested up, and started the next day fresh with our Plan...
Ha, the Plan... sooooooooooooo we arrived at WDW.. mission accomplished we made it, let the games begin.. let the laughter start, the smiles grow the Magic happen... ( oh yeah lets not forget about the magic right?)  Well first thing first, the twins ran through those gates, we could barely keep up with them, what did they run straight for? Of course the castle...
the show was going on, ohh the excitement... until...
Captain HOOK............. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
I have never seen these two so scared in my life.  I thought to myself ( they'll get over it) nope.
From that moment on, any and every character that was on the cobble stone road, or near a ride was totally getting the, Lets hid our body under mommy or daddy's shirt.. oh yeah, you haven't heard, extra body heat is amazing when your dripping sweat and dehydrated.
So to quickly distract the situation, we moved on.. after the fireworks and song and dance was over, let the rides begin....
and they did just that, rode all the rides we were big enough to enjoy, over and over.... the smiles, priceless, the love, endless.... and then the heat won the war.
Hot, cranky, tired and over it... the MELTDOWNS began... you dropped and ice cube, scream, the lady said next rocket ship.. meltdown, the mickey mouse doll is 200.00, meltdown, the real Mickey mouse wants to say hi.. MELTDOWN... you get the picture right?
soooooooooo after 5 hours.. done.
shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... ride back to village, all is well, belly full, thirst quenched.. and stimulation overload done.
Day two.. forget the Magic of Magic kingdom lets gooooooooooo meet some alligators, Gatorland here we come,having an inside scoop on sneaking in the hot dogs, we did just that...
Now alligator's, that's their element for sure... the screeching sounds of laughter and excitement was awesome, seeing those monsters tear apart a hot dog, and hearing the boys cheer, priceless.
Then the crazy eyed goats, lets have a feeding frenzy, ice cream cones filled with pellets, and an hour of excitement.. so be it. They loved every moment of that, as mommy watched from a distance cuz the goat's eyes freak me out... yeah, I know I am such a odd ball. :)
Then we held a baby alligator, and a boa constrictor, and played splash safari madness with all the other hot kids, and went on our way... Good times.
Later we visited Epcot, awesome, despite the never ending supply of buy me, on every corner... the boys really enjoyed visiting China, Dylan actually cheered YAAAAAAAAAAY for China during the whole presentation.. Graham kept reminding me that I needed to be still... and guess what, I did.  For the 12 minute presentation on China, I was just that .. Still.
We eventually hit up Sea World, fed dolphins and sea lions, watched the penguins stare at the walls, and had to answer the never ending questions for the boys, why are these animals trapped here?
Good lesson huh? ( not sure about that, just yet)
Sea World was tough, the MELTDOWN returns.... why? because we can't ride the twisting, crazy loop to loop roller coaster, ummmmmmmmmmm yeah, after that meltdown I almost wished they could ride it just so they could see what being terrified was like.. for that moment.
They got over it, forgot about it.. and we went on to enjoy our day..
Finally after another adventure at a farm, not quite like the farms in the Midwest, but a farm non the less....
bison, pigs, goats, cows, lamas, milking a cow, bunnies, the hay ride, and lets not forget yet another awesome train ride... soooooooooo 3.5 hours later of kick ass petting zoo adventures.. we headed back to swim, swim swim...
Graham's trip, Graham's choices.... WHere did he want to go? The beach... so, the last two days we spent in Florida were in Clearwater Beach. I have to say, watching your children roll around in soft white sand, dance and swim in the ocean, and see the sun set in the Gulf... is absolutly amazing.
I swear if you could hear them cackle at every wave that hit their bellies, your heart would melt.
I of course made a new friend, she was like my long loss tattoo soul sista, we found a conch, and again I was reminded how sometimes you find the coolest people, when you aren't lookin~

So this is the short version of the trip.. the details are slim, but the memories are awesome.. if you know me, you know I take the good with the bad, and the ugly with out even breaking my stride, this was no different... Not at all.
So when I say I don't believe we ever are made to follow a PLan, I mean it whole heartily.. my boys are no different, they roll with the punches, and things work out soo much better when we just let it ride.
I said I don't believe in magic, I don't.
I do believe thou, that good people helped us get there, and now back here... sooooooooooooo what's next? not sure
NOT EVEN MAKIN A PLAN..

The waves, we decided as a family, take away all the negative energy and leave you with positive, so together,  we let go of a lot of bad and kept all the good.

Our last sun set....
Peace out Florida

timing

truth is, everyone get's hurt
people change...
sometimes we are challenged only to win.
I don't always believe everything I hear...
I don't believe everything I see...
I wonder often if matching is an artform.. (laughing)
did the old lady at the Little Ceasars care that I opened the door for her?
does laughter really soothe the soul, or does music get the win?