these days...

these days my mind has been wondering.................
these days I don't know if my head is on so tight...
then I peak out the window , and it goes back to right.......
having your eyes open,  isn't always fun, oh to be young again, only to see what you want to.
I realize as the tides have turned...
not everyone will have your back, not everyone is REAL. amazing how some are so good at faking like they give a shit. only to find out through games that they never have, and probably never will....
these days I wont try hard to impress you, for you are not my family
these days I wont even flinch if you don't like me..
today I know, It's ok.
I know too many people caught up in the game, the game is stupid... no one ever really wins.. but there is a bounty full of losers.
I get tired of feeling broken.
I get tired of felling sick.
I never get tired of hearing the laughter that motherhood brings...
to be real... sobriety is an amazing thing..
without sounding like someone speaking at a NA meeting.. sometimes being spun, knocked down.. and kicked in the teeth.. is the best feeling.. why?
FEELINGs, that is why.
some of you will get this, others will just see it as another ramble.. I do that alot.. but this august makes 11 years.. I never thought I would make it this far...
and guess what? I did.
so these days, I don't take shit from people.
I don't let my past be my future... I don't forget it, I embrace it, I don't feel pity, I feel proud..
these days are not worth wasting.. and neither is my time...
and I wont waste any more of yours...

these days.. my life is great, with you, or with out.