through tears you find answers....

Wow, so it's been a minute since I have written.. or as I like to say, clear my skull of all this wonderful stuff that keeps me up at night, makes my stomache ache.. and the good stuff too... I never leave that out, and, always have to find time to keep it real. Since my last rant.. the Kiddos have turned 5~ I have survived this mom gig for five fuckin years.. that is way more years I ever thought possible. Lately I am dealing with the re-establishing of boundaries...something so simple for some.. soooooooooooooo extremly pull your fucking hair out insaine for others.. ( not me of course, I am fuckin perfect) I get to this point with the boys where my voice of reason is not enough.. and I think about the most insaine tactic to bring it back to good.. and lately it's the zombies. Right? what the hell, this bitch is posioning her kids minds with the living dead? Nah.. not at all, I just drive them to the nearest location where the extreme meltdown is going on, pull the car over and explain that if you want to continue to say horrible things to me, and hurt me.. I have no choice but to stop the car and let you make a choice.. Get right, or sit here until you do. what if they chose to stay??? Well then I am fucked, but for now it works.. we find a piece of mind, and work through it. Sure I fuckin cry alot.. I feel overwhelmed, I feel out numbered.. you would too.. but I don't feel defeated, I feel excited, challenged.. ready~ I don't have the answers.. they left that out in the mail order how to parent catalog I never received... Did I mention having twins is the hardest thing I have managed this far in my life? I am not joking when I say, these two have opened my eyes to so much.... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhahha so with that said.. my dangerous duo, the jr. mafia... the loves of my life, are keeping me 100 percent human. Don't jude my daily dose of diet coke... it's the only vice I have left.