ahh facebook, the escape at night from chaos and parenting... seeing that i was blessed the first time around with Twins, I know someone in the universe has a sense of humor.. my 4.5 year olds whom I usually refer to as Mayhem and Madness are the joy of most days, the reason my feet hit the floor every morning with a kick ass attitude, a reason to make a difference, I think most mom's will get where I am going with this explanation ( at least I hope) so, on my usual browse of what;s going on in facebook land one evening, a friend had shared this Orange Rhino blog.
I love reading Mom blogs, the honest cut throat, real deal of parenting.. the non cookie cutter way things really go down.. as soon as I read this blog I was both laughing and thinking.. wait a minute this woman is on to something!
NO YELLING? for 365 days, she's got to be crazy... I can't even go two hours with out something exploding in this house, let alone 365 days...
Most who know me know, I believe every thing happens for a reason, so that night I read this blog, for weeks the twins father and I had been having discussions about some not so great boy behavior and ways to make it disappear and how I could handle my own reactions to things better, I am so guilty of being the YELLER, I mean really, let the list begin:
Fighting : "quit kicking your brother!" "quit punching each other" "Don't jump off the table, Share those cars, " DON"T SAY MEAN THING TO YOUR BROTHER" " I SAID GET IN THE BATH" "FOOD IS NOT A TOY" GET OFF THE COUNTER, LEAVE THE DOGS ALONE, THE CAT IS NOT YOUR PILLOW, IT'S BED TIME, KEEP YOUR PANTS ON, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS RIGHT , i SAID YOU CAN'T HAVE THAT! and my favorite, " I SAID NO!"... and this is the short version..
Every time I would find myself being tested, my voice would go to 11! When I was a child, yelling was talking.. and then Eureka, I am going to take this challenge~
I mean after all, I have not had a diet coke for three weeks, I can give up yelling! uh huh.. I can do anything.. I am LIZ!
Can I do it? Can I really not yell at these two? Will I whisper? Walk away? Laugh? Not give in to the daily tag team of who's the boss?? and the answer to all these questions is YES~~
The orange Rhino challenge is working!!!
I have survived Ten full days, and here is what I have noticed, not gonna lie, the boys haven't transformed into these saints that don't scream, fight, cry or share all the time... but I see what I have control over, I see that I have better ways of coping with frustration, anger, sleep deprivation, headaches, and any unwanted behavior..I know they wont give up testing me, that is after all their job...
My motivation is the same as it ever was... I know that my boys learn behavior and how to handle themselves by watching how I do these things... I know that I want them to grow up with better coping skills and learn that screaming and yelling does nothing but escalate the situation and leaves everyone in tears...
The first time I ever held them in my arms after giving birth, I knew that through it all, the laughter, the tears, the fear, the unconditional love.. that I had a job to do.
Not yelling is perhaps one of the best gifts I can give to them, life already has a bunch of obstacles .. I want to control the ones I can!
I'll let you know how I feel at 20 days, but right now the best feeling I feel is empowerment!
G and D might still be yelling and having their catastrophic meltdowns... but Mommy is working on breathing and walking away from that behavior and embracing the laughter, the tears and the good times we have between it all!
Cheers to coffee, and knowing that it's possible~ I am never alone and neither are you~
